


Burnt it Off

by Cassius Irvine (Floris_Oren)



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, Magical Soul-Mate AU, Multi, Self Harm, character introspection, found the idea on tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 22:10:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8685247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Floris_Oren/pseuds/Cassius%20Irvine
Summary: Sanzo takes time to himself to contemplate his reasons for not revealing himself to his soul-mates.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Polski available: [Wypal je](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13192662) by [Regalia1992](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regalia1992/pseuds/Regalia1992)



> Funnily enough we don't have any SM AU's in Saiyuki. Which is actually kinda funny? so I figured, why the hell not.   
> Also, first time to write actual self harm. I feel that I def warned for it. So if you missed it in the tags. THIS FIC CONTAINS SELF HARM AND I WILL NOT BE HELD LIABLE FOR ANYONE READING THIS AND GETTING TRIGGERED BECAUSE WHY ELSE ARE TAGS AND AUTHORS NOTES FOR????????   
> DON'T READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED EASILY BY SELF HARM. I FUCKING MEAN IT. DO NOT.   
> Well. I think I warned sufficiently.

It’s late. He can’t sleep. 

 

Hakkai has won the bed again. Gojyo has gone off to perve, and Goku is out cold. Snoring up a storm. Sanzo had taken his chance to escape into the bathroom. The fan is on high, the bathwater around him is cooling. He isn’t washing. 

 

Instead he looks at the names on his arm. 

 

Cho Hakkai

Son Goku

Sha Gojyo 

 

Fate or the gods underestimated him if they thought he was going to fall for those idiots. Sanzo frowned. Their names appeared, one right after the other after he’d met each one of them. They were the bane of his lives. Useful sometimes. But….

 

The only one he cared about….

 

Koumyou used to be at the top of his wrist. In small letters caressing his thumb. In cursive. He hadn’t noticed how it had disappeared that night so many years ago. But it had. And he was glad when no one’s name appeared for many years after. 

 

Then he had heard Goku calling….

 

Sanzo rummages around in his robes. He knows he won’t be disturbed. He finds his lighter. He holds the flame to the skin. Slowly building up a burn over the area where the names always appear. The skin bubbles and pain erupts slowly over it. He still clenches his teeth no matter how many times he has tried to blot the names out. 

 

They had asked him, of course, who he he had. If anyone. One popular theory was that he had Kougaiji, or even Gyumao. If they ever found out it was their names, that he was even doing this. They’d be pissed to hell and back. They each felt they had a claim on him and the special soul bonds would crop up if he wasn’t careful. 

 

Disdainfully he drops his arm into the water. It’ll cool the burn a bit. He just has to make certain that no one grabs him there or that he is favoring that spot. Hakkai will ask to see. But the names will reappear as soon as it’s healed. 

 

Sanzo gets out of the tub. Dresses his self made wound and the wraps his robes around him. 

 

He doesn’t need soul mates. He doesn’t need anyone. He refuses to hold on. Every time he did, he lost something. And that wasn’t going to happen again. 

  
  
  



End file.
